Chili for the chilly

Beef, beans, and spices. These simple ingredients slow cooked together bring about a certain nostalgia to me. It brings me back to my childhood days. When my mom would bring my cousins and me to Tim Horton's after swim practice. Our ears and noses would be red from the biting wind outside and our boots wet from the slush of dirty snow. The smell of coffee, chicken noodle soup, donuts, freshly baked bread, butter, and chili welcoming us into the restaurant. These all come rushing back, memories I have of the now familiar restaurant where I had my first experience of my favorite chili in a bread bowl.

My first taste of this particular chili was not through my mouth, but rather by inhaling the aroma of it and allowing the warmth to spread throughout my body. Then I would take several small spoonfuls of the bean and eat them off the top first. Once the inside of the bread bowl was visible, I would take tear off some of the crisp crust with some sauce infused into the white fluffy part of the bread. Taking some cold butter I would chop them into little blocks and smash one onto my scoopy piece of bread. The textures, temperatures, tastes, all of these are painted vividly in my mind. The flaky crust, the chewiness of the inside, the savory sauce, the cold and creamy butter can seem to contrast one another but this does not compare to the bitter taste of fear that I am reminded of whenever I eat this simple meal with my sister.

Essentially eating chili reminds me of the good moments I've had with my cousins in Canada when I was younger, however one incident can change entirely how one views the experience. Whenever I have hot chili and buttered bread with my sister I am reminded of the day when we rushed to the emergency room with her hands full of glass shards. It's conflicting to me as we had chili before and after these series of events. I don't know whether it reminds me more of my fear or relief, however chili will always be a comfort food for me as it reminds me what it's like to be young, and what it's like to be an older sister.